Howdy. My name is Lori and I am new to blogging. I'm married-13 years. I have 3 children-ages 12,6, & 4 1/2. My 6 year old has ADHD and my 4 1/2 year old has Autism. My husband said that this would be good for me--he said it would help me vent/get new ideas etc for my 2 special needs children. Nolan my 4 1/2 year old has me so worried some days. We are SOOOO hard trying to potty train him (for the last few weeks) & he doesn't even have a clue as to why I am bringing him in the bathroom every 15 minutes. He will sit there for 5 even 10 minutes not doing anything, then as soon as his pull up is back on, he uses it! UGH! He is also stimming like crazy lately. He will run back and forth thru the house-covering his ears, humming or as my husband says making noise like the Tasmanian devil from the looney tunes cartoons! I chuckle at that statement because if I don't I will need to be put in a white padded room. I worry about him so much. He is supposed to start kindergarten next year, but I am not sure how that will happen when he is so far behind! I mean he can list his numbers, letters, colors & he can boot up the computer, click on his sign in and play one of my games--like diner dash & he is good at it. He can even get onto nickjr without assistance. However, he can't use the toilet, brush his teeth without help or tell me what hurts or what he wants-unless I give him suggestions. Sometimes when I do give suggestions, they are not correct--so I have to keep guessing! I just look at him and want to hug him and keep him from the big bad world, but I can't. I would love to take away the autism, but then I get the "that is a part of Nolan-it makes him who he is". Well you know what, people need to start looking at this from the parents point of view & then maybe they would understand! I guess I am just feeling frustrated today.
My 6 year old Madison has ADHD--which in itself is a good thing. Let me explain why I say that. She was born @ 27.5 weeks. She weighed 2lbs 4ozs and was 14in long. She almost died on us three times & has a HUGE medical history. To hear a doctor tell you "get here as fast as you can, your daughter won't make it thru the night"---(I'm crying while I am writing this) She went thru some things that a child should never have to go thru and I am not saying that someone else child didn't go thru worse---just in my situation that was the worst I have ever been thru. You would think after 6 years I would be "over it", but it's not gone---only less intense. I look at her everyday and just thank GOD that she is here, because she shouldn't be. She is a spitfire. She is the size of a 3 year old-can't gain weight for anything (wish I had that problem) & won't take crap from anyone--even her brother who out weighs her by 35lbs & about 5inches.
My eldest is 12y/7th grade could be doing better in school & feels like she can treat us like crap & then not have any sort of punishment happen. This am-dad was in the shower, I was sorting laundry and Madison needed help in the bathroom. Dad asked Kaleigh to get some wipes & help her sister and the reaction we got was "O-COME ON!"--followed by stomping down the hall & when we tried to explain to her once again about the attitude, she said "I wasn't doing anything". I know part of it is the age-but man if I EVER talked to my parents like that I wouldn't be standing & my mother has even told Kaleigh this and still the same attitude! She also feels like we have to buy her everything--even going so far to say that "we never buy her anything!" We can't figure it out, but she has never been given everything she wants/when she wants it & she acts like shes entitled. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter very much--she just frustrates me!--UGH.
I'll stop for now-hope I did ok on my first blog-thanks for reading. will love to read any posts/comments.
Hi Lori,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to blogland! I hope you will find this a good experience - there are many wonderful parents out there going through similar things who are more than willing to share your frustrations and help in any way they can.
On the subject of potty training, I recently reprinted an article I had written about that called Potty Training Your Special Needs Child. You might be able to find a couple of ideas in that that will help with Nolan.
The stimming could be related to food intolerances or dysbiosis in the gut - I'm not sure if you have tried removing dairy or gluten from his diet. That helped my son tremendously in that area, as did resolving a yeast overgrowth in his intestinal tract.
I just have one son, Michael, who is 7 1/2 and in first grade. Feel free to stop by and visit my blog as well!
Hi:) Welcome to blogland. Your husband is right, it will be good for you and its cheaper than anti-depressants too! I started both the autism and blogging adventures recently, the blogging can be very scary at the beginning. Best of luck, am following you now and look forward to sharing your adventures:) Jen.
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Welcome Lori! I believe you know about me and my family, through Jon. I have a 12-year-old son with autism, and a 10-year-old son with extreme dramatic tendencies. Honestly they're like night and day. The story of life with your children sounds so familiar, I could've written it myself. I have a 22-year-old stepdaughter who lived with us through most of her teenage years, and Oh My Gosh was that ever difficult! She put us through so much turmoil, and, in fact, continues to torture us to this day. Unfortunately she never did learn any good hard lessons.
ReplyDeleteI know the frustration of living with an autistic child all too well. He is a brilliant young man, but yes it is so aggravating when he can't remember to brush his teeth, or comb his hair, or even tell someone his address. Only parents who live with it every day can understand. I can tell you, thankfully, that it does get easier, or at least the frustrations change form, making it seem easier at times. Hang in there.
I also know the feeling of nearly losing a child. My youngest son was born via emergency cesarean at 32 weeks, and the doctors were certain he wouldn't live. It's the scariest feeling in the world.
I guess I should stop now before I write a comment longer than your post. :) Feel free to holler at me any time you need a shoulder - Jon has my contact info. He's right - blogging about your family life will help you immensely.
I just saw your tagline about walking through the mall wearing a pink tutu, smoking a pickle and singing Achy Breaky Heart. HA! I just had to leave another comment to say thanks for the laugh - that is just great! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Trish for commenting on my blog-I certainly will give the potty training tips a try. We have tried to remove gluten before from his diet and it is VERY hard & expensive-especially since we have another child who has to have all the calories she can eat. We are going to try and cut them back to see if that will help with the stimming. I also think he has been stimming more because we are stuck inside more/holidays etc-he loves being squeezed & I think he needs more of that.
ReplyDeleteHi Jen--Thanks for commenting on my blog. I hope that blogging will help & yes it would be cheap than meds/therapist & probably more fun.
ReplyDeleteHi Deanna,
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting. Yes,it is frustrating when you are teaching your child something & then they get it and then it seems the next day they have "forgotten" and you have to start all over again. It is "nice" to know that there are other families out there going thru similar things.
The pink tutu comment came from jon's booklet he wrote in regards to nolan. One day I had taken Madison and Nolan to the mall to ride the cars. When I got there the machine that was there to change $ into change was out of order. I then had to walk to the otherside of the mall to get change @ the arcade. The arcade needed management approval to change a dollar! I then went to the candy store- meanwhile having 2 screaming kids attached to me. They gave me change-but not without "the look". I then had to walk back-i tried to explain to nolan that we were going back, but it didn't work. So yes I would have rather been wearing a pink tutu etc---aaahhhh.
I forgot--when I got to the rides, I put the kids on one-inserted the $ and nothing! I had only changed 1 dollars worh into quarters. So, I had to remove the kids from the rides and leave the mall--& I had more shopping to do!! UGH
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